Judge not to not be Judged
- tragedytestimony
- Feb 22
- 6 min read
Updated: Mar 3
We have all walked into a room, looked around the room and then started to size it up? You know, you see a guy over there, wearing glasses, and you think to yourself I know his type, or you look at a girl who is wearing a little to revealing clothing and you think why would she wear that? Or, how about you are talking to someone, and they tell you some information about a decision that they made, and you think to yourself how could they make that choice I would never………
Now let’s flip the scene you walk into the room, and you are now being sized up. They are looking at what you are wearing, what you are carrying, how you smell, how you look or how you are acting, even what you are saying. Then you speak and now in their head they are making remarks about your choices. This my friends, is judgement. Has this happened to you? Better question, have you done this? We should ask ourselves, what does judging someone look like? It is simply this forming a critical or negative opinion about another person’s actions, appearance, choices, behavior or even aspects of the character of an individual. It is statements like these; Why are you wearing that? How could you have done that? Look at how you are acting! I wouldn’t have said or done that or worn that if I were you! Other forms are like this; You aren’t doing this right in your life! What made you think that this was a good idea? Those clothes you are wearing look better on someone else! Oh, you’re going to so and so's house? You're just making the wrong choices!........ these are all statements of judgement. Judging is stereotyping an individual or being very biased about topics and then scrutinizing someone in how they do it differently than yourself or don’t think the same way as you or simply because you think you are right, and they are wrong. Or they make choices that you yourself have a distaste for because you think this opinion of yours needs to be spoken or addressed. I personally know how this feels, do you? I am sure many of us do when it is being done to us. But have we considered how others feel when we are doing it to them? These are serious things to ponder so I guess we would also have to look at whether everything is judgement or not.
We may have a friend or know of someone we love a family member perhaps who is doing things or making decisions that could be harming to another person or to them self. How do we deal with this and handle this situation without being judgmental? There is a time when we have true concern for something and from our heart we want to help the other person, however, they may think that; or have a feeling we are judging them. The question is, are we forming an opinion or is it fact? Who is it affecting and how is it affecting? The Bible has a lot to say about how we can determine when it is appropriate to speak out on things that we see in an individual’s appearance, words, choices and actions that we may not agree with and that may be harmful, how to deal with them, what to say and when to say them. But, in this form, my friends it is not judgement. When wanting to inform a friend or loved one of these types of things because we are truly from the heart concerned, we need to look at the intentions of our own hearts, the intentions of why we are wanting to inform the person of how or what they are doing, wearing, and saying and how it may be harmful. Are we wanting to press how we are right, and they are wrong or impress our opinion because we need to be heard on our views? These are the matters of the heart that determine if it is judging or helping. Ephesians 4:15 NKJV says this; but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the Head Christ.
We are called by God to do this in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14 NKJV says this; Let all that you do be done in love. What does to do it in love look like; it looks like this you are approaching the friend or loved one in a calm gentle understanding way to allow that person to still be free to be who they are but correcting them gently on what may not be good for them. This is not always easy though for either you or them and should be handled delicately and privately. These issues come up a lot when it comes to bad habits. For example, drinking or drug use. We are going to reference specifically the use of marijuana here as some others may be a bit more complicated. We see that our friend or loved one is using more than usually or using it in general and we are not in agreement of it because it has changed them and not for the good either. Every time you have approached this with the friend or loved one you have said it this way “Man you really need to cut that out you do too much.” They then reply to it this way, “Why are you always judging what I do? If you were a true friend or really loved me, you would just let me do it. I’m not bothering anyone with it. Why can’t you just support me instead of always telling me what to do?” The thing here is they may not know how harmful it is or the effects it can have long term, and we all know the debates in the world that encourage and influence the use of substances. We also may not know what is going on in their life or a hardship or mental health issue they may be facing so our approach means everything. Maybe try approaching it from this stance “Hey I wanted to talk to you about something, I have noticed you smoke a lot is there something going on that I can help with? I am your friend, and I am here for you I just want to help you because I love you, I care about you and what is happening with you and too you.”
In all judgement separates us and divides us from others and God, causes us to speculate and refrain from making connections with others who may be in need. You are probably going through so many things in your life at one time and being on the receiving end of judgement doesn't help in your attempts to reach out, to be social, especially when you are in need of help. I hope this is comforting to know that so are others in many ways going through similar things that we may not ever know. I think the last thing you need is Judgement and ridicule for your life and actions and let’s take accountability it’s the last thing that other people need as well. This doesn’t mean that we aren’t allowed to address things with others. What is does mean is that how we do it matters but also know what you judge you will also be judged for. It is a slippery slope of division amongst us causing a wedge in our relationships not just with people but with God, and our ability to give to others or receive from others is also hindered. So, I challenge you today to look at yourself and recognize you are not the judgements that others pass on you, but also see that others are not the judgements you pass on them; then let's give grace to those who we see who are different that may be in affliction just as we ourselves also need grace for our differences and afflictions.
Matthew7:1-3 NKJV:
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you will be judged; and with the measure you use, it will be.
Romans 2:1 NKJV:
Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.
Proverbs 21:2 NKJV:
Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.
James 4:12 NKJV:
There is one Lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy. Who are you to judge another?
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